Are you  concerned that an Al-Qaeda operative is hiding behind your armoire waiting to pop a cap in you while you sleep?  Maybe you’re afraid that in the midst of your slumber that girl you’ve been chatting up on the internet will realize you’re not really the multi-millionaire playboy/Astrophysicist/bodybuilder you claim to be and come calling like Annie Wilkes in Misery.  Maybe you’re afraid of hurricanes, floods or just really, really, REALLY freakin’ paranoid.  For you comes (wait for it)…the Quantum Sleeper!

Yes, its a bulletproof, fire-resistant bed that comes with a microwave (just because there’s terrorism doesn’t mean you can’t have a Hot Pocket).  Want one?  Of course you do!  Check it out here and get ready to place your order.  After all, isn’t piece of mind while you sleep worth $135,000 ?